Whole
by Annamia
Summary: You. Me. Us. Together, we are whole."


_Author's note: and another. sorry, tamara's being a bit overactive right now. she wants to write another one too and, as she's currently very firmly in charge, there's not much we can do about it. but, whatever you might say about her, her form of therapy works. so i suppose we should be thankful.  
Disclaimer: still not JK Rowling  
--kyra_

* * *

Whole

"We can't keep doing this."

I know you're telling me the truth, but I don't want to admit it. I want to stay like this forever, want to be with you until we die. Why must good things come to an end? It's not fair. I need to be with you, need to see you, need to touch you. You remind me so much of her. The one I can't have. But I have you instead. And now you're telling me it can't last. It's not fair.

"They're going to find out eventually."

I know that. Do you think I don't hear the whispers? Do you think I don't know the rumors as well as you do? But do they matter? Who cares what they think? They're unimportant. All that matter is us. You. Me. Us. Together, we are whole. But not alone. I'm not whole without you. Can you be whole without me? Will you admit that you need me?

"They're already starting to wonder."

Who cares? I don't. Let them wonder. They won't hurt anyone. They certainly won't hurt us. And then I understand. You're afraid of them, aren't you? You, the brave one, the smart one, the steadfast one, you're afraid of words spoken by children. For that's all they are. Children. Not like us. We, we are more than them. We are no longer children. We have lived through hardship and loss, and we have grown older than we have any right to be. Yet you still fear their words.

"If they find out…"

What will happen when they find out? For they must. They cannot not. We are too obvious to keep it hidden any longer. And it does not matter. I will protect you. I am not afraid. I will weather the storm for you. I will break the trail and you can follow behind me.

"They're the only friends I have."

Is that it? Are you afraid that your friends will turn away from you? Do you not trust them to know the inner secrets of your soul? And what about me? Do you trust me? You should. I have never told. I never will tell either, never will breath a word of the secrets you whisper to me in our bed at night. I will never speak of the pain you impart to me, or of the doubts you have about yourself and your abilities. Have you told your friends as much? Do they know the darkest corners of your heart, know them as I do? Have they heard you cry out in agony at the pain of your dreams, or seen you assailed by the crippling doubt that grips you so often? And have they witnessed your joys? Do they know, as I do, the joy in seeing you smile, completely uninhibited by fear or pain? No. No, they do not. Yet you call for them. You do not wish them to turn away from you.

"I need them."

More than you need me? That hurts. You don't know how much that hurts. You shouldn't. You shouldn't need anyone but me. I need no one but you. I could spend my entire life with you, only you, and everything would be perfect. Yet you need them. You need others more than you need me.

"You don't understand. You don't have any friends. Not like them."

I have you. I need nothing more. I can live on you, can live with nothing else. You are food and drink to me. You are my very oxygen. And you need more. You are not satisfied. You think I should have friends, as you do. You never say it, but I can see it in your face. But I don't. I don't need anyone but you.

"I'm sorry Sev. We can't."

My hands clench as I listen to you. You are scared. I know that, yet I cannot help hating that fear. I hate anything that takes you away from me. I hate your friends even more than I hate your fear. They have no right to steal you away from me, no right to take you. They don't need you. There are four of them, the three boys and the girl, Gryffindors all. I hate them. Even her. Especially her.

"Please understand."

I won't understand. I won't accept your fear, anymore than you will accept my craving. You tell me I need more than you. I tell you you need nothing but me. My lips part as I look at you, and a single word escapes them. A short word, one I have never said to you before, but one I know must be said. I must keep you here, must stop you from going off with your friends, must stop you from leaving me alone. So I say it, and hope you will understand. "No."


End file.
